What do Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and Vice Presidential candidate Joe Biden have in common? Answer: Foot in mouth politics. First up,Pelosi. She recently stepped up to her pulpit and claimed that her views on abortion are consistent with those of the Catholic Church. It turns out the Church hasn't always considered abortion to be an intrinsically evil act. Hmm...If this is really what the Church teaches why have the bishops torn off their zuchettos and folded up the sleeves of their cassocks in denunciation of what she said?

Strangely, Pelosi doesn't recant. Instead, she pontificates with renewed zeal. (Maybe that's just the way political rhetoric has to come off: absurdly self-assured) Her "research" (and misinterpretation of Church history) has led her to defy and deny, and then she takes it upon herself to pontificate, freely and often. Maybe Pelosi has taken her post as Speaker of the House to mean that she can speak about anything.

Biden is our second heavy hitter. Unfortunately, he decides to take a good whack at his own foot with a clumbsy piece of logic that contradicts itself within the next sentence over. Biden stated (in the same show Pelosi appeared in) that he assumes the pro-life stance as a matter of faith, but will graciously refrain from "imposing" his "pro-life" views on the people of America. While this sounds really noble in the pandering, political sense of the Cuomo doctrine, I find it to be about as attractive and logical as a yeast infection. I wonder if Biden would likewise say that he believes in his own right to life but wouldn't want to impose this view on a group of people who wanted to murder him.

I mean c'mon. When was the last time you saw two politicians rise up to say that Stephen Hawking was wrong about black holes? Or that Tiger Woods could use some pointers on how to swing his club? Maybe Stephen King needs Pelosi and Biden's help to write his next work of horror. Seriously.

So here's the bottom line on Pelosi and Biden. They walk like Catholics. They talk like Catholics. They look like Catholics. But don't be fooled. They're really politicians who pretend to be theologians.

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