Deus Caritas Est

I was a little bored and thought I'd tackle a serious subject by prodding it with a stick and seeing what would happen.

How to Spot Mr. Wrong:

1. He insists that when he goes out with his guy friends it’s to visit various museums and metropolitan culture clubs. It’s not his fault that they open late into the night and reek of cigarette smoke and women’s perfume.

2. He refers to women as “chicks” “broads” or “bitches.”

3. He maintains that you should be proud of what you have and thus wear the most form-fitting, short and revealing clothes possible. At dinner, he wears you on his right arm with slightly more regard than he wears his watch.

4. He expects you to cook the food, serve it to him and get him 2nds and 3rds before you so much as sit down.

5. You only need to snort and he’s by your side on bended knee, waiting with pep and glee for your next command. When he doesn’t want something from you he’s taking a nap in the mall parking lot while you lug 50 lbs of form-fitting, short and revealing clothes.

6. When you tell him about menstrual cramps and bloatedness, he wonders (aloud) whether it will affect how you fit into your form-fitting, short and revealing clothes.

7. He names his car after an ex-girlfriend and spends more time with “her” than he does with you.

8. He’s fond of saying “it’s okay to look as long as you don’t touch” but objects heatedly when another guy looks but doesn’t touch you…that is, if the look is longer than it takes the guy to see that you’re someone else’s “trophy.”

9. He considers flirting a relative term (fine for him but not for you).

10. He thinks that beer is a man’s best friend, that football is a close runner up and that polygamists are the luckiest “bastards” around.